I want to write an eloquent happy birthday post to E, because he turns 30 today. I've been sad because I thought I'd be celebrating this day with him, and I thought it would be kind of amazing to think that when we each turn 30, we'd be well on our way to a life together. That obviously hasn't happened.
I like eloquence because it feels poetic, and poetry seems to pull my pain out in a lovely string. I'm not there right now. I hate this. I want to be friends with the person I loved. I don't know if he still exists. I hope he does. But I'm prepared if he doesn't.
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