Grief as told through Ani songs

I've been going from anger to sadness during my downtime this weekend. When I was hanging out with people, I felt ok, even if I was talking about E. But when left to my own devices, I swing from sobbing at the loss of everything that felt comfortable, to raging because he couldn't love me enough. I have mostly flamed out for the night.

There's no good sad Ani song, so skipping that stage, I was here:



I am better than everything that came before. You were never very kind, and you let me way down every time. Oh what can I say, I adore you. [and later] Oh what can I say, I abhor you.

I am now here:



I am getting nowhere with you. I can't let it go and I can't get through...  I am writing graffiti on your body, I am writing the story of how hard we tried. [Though to be fair, the graffiti-writing part makes me think more of current lovers than past.]

And I'm hoping to get closer to here:



I've got better things to do than survive.