I grew up believing that my body belonged to God, to my future husband, to anyone other than myself. I was told and thoroughly believed that sex would ruin me, would make me less worthy, would change me in an inconceivable way so that I could never form healthy, strong relationships with anyone else. I was told that having sex was like super-gluing two pieces of wood together. You could pull them apart if you tried hard enough, but there would be slivers of each piece of wood stuck to the other forever. I believed sex was a thing I gave away or could be taken from me.
When I fuck who I want to, how I want to, and when I want to, that is a radical victory for love. When I can do that with someone I respect as a whole, autonomous person, that is a radical victory for love. When I can do that without sacrificing my healthy, committed relationship, that is a radical victory for love.
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